i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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