Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
