I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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