I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
