Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
