butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
