why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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