is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
