I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
