But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
