hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
