Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
