beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
