So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
