i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
