You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
