Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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