i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
