i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
