Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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