I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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