Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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