I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
the raccoons are back...
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