so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
