i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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