those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Every concussion has its silver lining
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
