What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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