Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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