Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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