at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
