I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
