Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
it's great music for shaving your balls
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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