I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
