please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize