dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize