I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
