Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
