I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
