If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
