I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
