I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
