More tranny stories later!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
