Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
