Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
