You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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