why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think weed is turning my hair brown
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize