listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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