I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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