He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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