she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I have fence marks all over my body
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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