apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
