sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
