I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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