Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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