My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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