Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
