Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
