the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
