Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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