I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
