two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
