put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
