the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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