If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
