I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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