Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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